5 Survival Tactics that You May Utilize to Maintain a Relationship with Your Abusive Parent

Dr. Natalie Jones PsyD, LPCC
4 min readJun 23, 2021

Those who have experienced childhood abuse at the hands of a parent, have often developed ways to cope with the abuse. They move through their lives and relationships in a traumatic state; which means they are often in survival mode. When someone has been abused by their parents while growing up, it is difficult to maintain a relationship with their abusive parents in adulthood. While haunted by old memories of abuse still haunt them, they continue to be in a relationship with their parents for a variety of reasons. These reasons include: 1) the belief that you must respect your parents, 2) fear of abandonment or being alone, 3) out of habit, 4) you have been manipulated into staying in the relationship, 5) the desire or longing to be loved and accepted by your parents, 6) codependency, 7) fear of retaliation, and 8) obligation to take care of your parents. Like learning how to live in a war zone, we adapt ways to cope with a parent who continues to be abusive. Our methods of survival include:

1. Avoidance. When you are in contact with your abusive parent, you may find yourself avoiding them at times. Avoidance serves as a protective mechanism for you to preserve your energy. Essentially, if you are expecting that person to project negative energy, you try to stay away from them. For…

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Dr. Natalie Jones PsyD, LPCC
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Dr. Natalie Jones, PsyD, LPCC is a licensed therapist, and creator of A Date With Darkness Podcast. Visit: https://www.drnataliejones.com